I can't help but be honest...I am a little scared about the adoption. I am NOT scared about the trials and the rough road we know is ahead, and I am NOT scared at all about getting our child and bringing them here! This will be his/her home and always will be. What I suppose I am scared of is actually submitting the application to the place we want to work through. We have a place here in KY we are working through to get our home study done. But for the actual adoption process, we have thus far found comfort and peace at only one place. But...they're the most expensive place. My little angel on my shoulder tells me God will provide every red cent for this adoption and to go ahead and send in the application, as they only work with a certain number of clients at a time...so space is limited. But the other little guy on my other shoulder is whispering, "But what if you don't have the $ in time and cannot accept a profile given to you?" This place will usually place within a short time frame, some as soon as 6 weeks, but usually no longer than 3-6 months. THIS should be the most exciting part of this story so far!!! That our baby could be here in the matter of MONTHS!!!!!!! not YEARS!!!! But. I know how much we have to raise and without taking on further debt for this, my stomach just knots thinking that the funds will not be there when it's time. But an even further and deeper sickening feeling is knowing without a shred of doubt that our little baby is out there, somewhere, and I feel like I haven't done anything yet to get it here. I suppose that once we are actually with an agency, I will feel as though we are definitely working towards what we need to be.
I know I'm rambling! I am most definitely confused on what TO do and what NOT to do. Just pray for us that God will show us the way...I know He will!
Many Blessings!!!
Rachel
No comments:
Post a Comment